Saying Thanks

Last night I made turkey enchiladas for Marshall - his new favorite food (in his very limited repertoire!). Lily likes spicy things but has not shown any interest in enchiladas. I made her a dish of baked brown rice and heated up some left over honey bar-b-q chicken. Apparently she thought it was over the top wonderful and got out of her seat twice to come over, hug me and tell me 'Mommy, I love you SO much. I LOVE when you cook for me!" Keep in mind, I cook for all of us most nights so I don't know what evoked this outpouring of gratitude but it was simple, sweet and made me feel great.

Saying thanks is something we sometimes don't do often enough. Near the end of his life I asked my Dad if he had any regrets. He told me his only regret was not telling people who helped him along the way how much they meant to him. My Dad was a generous, loving, gentle man who never missed an opportunity to give praise or a compliment so this really surprised me. I know he made an effort to find long lost colleagues and friends to send them little notes of thanks and gratitude.

I took this lesson to heart and have made a conscious effort to do better. Three years ago when we were waiting on a form from USCIS to submit our dossier to China, my fingerprints failed twice, my name was misspelled and ultimately I had to fill out an affidavit that I was not a criminal and supply a local background check. When this finally occurred (after getting our local Congressman involved), the local USCIS head of the adoption unit, Mrs. Dwyer, invited me in her office to complete the affidavit and she handed me the needed form, already complete. To say I was grateful was an understatement. I promptly sent her a thank you card and a mother's day card when we received Lily's referral, including Lily's photo. When we applied on 2007 for this same form for Hunter's adoption, I enclosed an updated photo of Lily and thanked her again for the work she does uniting children with forever families.

Well - guess whose prints were once again unreadable? Nothing in this adoption seems to go smoothly. I got a call from Mrs. Dwyer's office yesterday morning telling me my prints are unreadable. I talked to her lovely assistant Sara who directed me to go back to USCIS next week, reprint and then immediately come to Mrs. Dwyer's office to fill out the form and get our updated clearance. I asked whether they planned to wait and see if the prints were clear or unreadable this time and she said "no - we are not going to take a chance. Let's just get this done!" Music to a momma's ears! Any parent adopting internationally knows the angst created by dealing with USCIS and these needed forms. This type of back and forth on the prints can take weeks. Heck - it took 5 weeks just to get the first re-print appointment. Mrs. Dwyer's gracious invitation has saved me weeks of stress and worry, particularly since our clearance expires early November without my updated clearance.

Yesterday when I got home from work, the phone was ringing from an "unavailable" number. I almost didn't pick up. Glad I did - it was Mrs. Dwyer herself calling to remind me that when I come next week, I need a local police report. I had already gotten it yesterday morning immediately after talking to her assistant. Why did this exceptionally busy professional who works for this humongous bureaucracy take the time to personally call me to remind me of this detail so things would go smoothly next week? I'd like to think because I have taken the time to say "thank you."

So - take the time today to say "thank you" to someone who has shown you some small kindness. And thanks Dad - I miss you.