I did it!

I hate to run. I have never enjoyed it. I had a theory in college that anyone in relatively good condition can get up and run a 5k (3.1 miles) on any given day. I put the theory to the test a few times in college and finished in under 30 minutes. 11 years ago after my divorce, I ran one in Tampa with a friend to prove to myself that I could reclaim a part of me, set short term goals and do it and go on.

So, in December 2009 when my friend Connie said she wanted to run a 5k at the end of February to get a medal, I shook her hand and promised to run/walk it with her. I was at my heaviest weight ever and just started a new high protein, low carb diet. I told myself that setting this goal would help me exercise and prepare. I lied!! Although I did start walking daily and jogging a bit here and there, I did not train for the race. As race day approached, I got more and more nervous about doing it and how it would hurt my body to run with out training. I have dropped 25 pounds in 2 1/2 months and started doing yoga daily in mid-January (life changing!!!). So..I told my doctor my theory about possibly running a 5k. His first questions was, "Have you been training?" and his second question was "And how old are you?" He was clearly skeptical.

Connie, an office mate of hers and I went to pick up our pre-race packets Friday. The weather forecast for Saturday was dismal - under 40 degrees and raining. We went for healthy Indian food for lunch and committed we would all run.

Saturday morning, Connie showed up but her friend did not. We got in line with about 15,000 other runners. There were people as far ahead and as far behind us as we could see. Quite an amazing sight to behold. As the staring horn sounded, the rain began. There were so many people running that Connie and I didn't cross the start line until about 3 minutes into the race. My theory was tested before the end of the first mile. Connie and I looked at each other and agreed to walk. We ran and walked the whole way. Our goal was for no one pushing a baby stroller to pass us. When we rounded the curve to the second mile, we could see the people behind us for the first time and the stroller pushers were advancing. Bitches! About 2 minutes later, one was on our heals. She gave us an angelic "I'm not feeling this at all yet" smile and we started to run full out. At least for the next quarter mile. The rain was cold, the bay smelled bad and these old bones were feeling it. Seeing an amputee running with a prosthesis, 2 guys racing in wheelchairs and a mom running with a 5 year old passing us by pushed us on. As we approached the finish line, we saw that if we really pushed it, we could make it in 45 minutes which was my goal. Connie grabbed my hand and we ran together to cross the finish line together. I am not sure who was pulling who more. We hooted and hugged and then about collapsed before getting in line for our medals and water. We walked another half mile back to our cars and then decided we needed breakfast. Beignets and hot chocolate - the breakfast of champions. :) We DID IT!!!! and it feels really good.

Five plus years in the adoption process really took a toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally. I aged and I didn't really like the person I had become. A depressed, overweight lump with anxiety and panic attacks. Towards the end of last year, something clicked that I had to take better care of myself and no one but me could fix the state I was in. I signed up for a girls' weekend yoga and book retreat in Tennessee put together by 2 friends from college I had not seen in 25 years. I had never done yoga but loved the book to be discussed ("Eat, Love, Pray"). I asked the one person from college who I have always stayed in touch with to go with me and she agreed. We had the most fabulous relaxing, rejuvenating weekend with old friends and new. We explored what do we want. What changes do we want to bring about in our lives, what do we love about ourselves and do others love about us? Of course, there was also great food and fun. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Even though Jim willingly encouraged me to go, I felt selfish in doing it but I am so glad I went. I have been practicing yoga daily (once or twice a week at a studio and the rest at home with videos) since and it has given me a new sense of balance, self love, peace. It gave me the belief that my body could probably handle and recover from a 5k. 2010 will see a better me. Happier, healthier and more positive that I can set and achieve goals. I did it!
ps Connie - thank you for always lifting me up!