Why Not....
Choose to be happy?
My mother-in-law called over the weekend and when I answered the phone, told me I was very chipper. I said "what's not to be chipper about?" She then told me it was in the thirties and going to snow in Chicago where she lives. I agree - I would not be very chipper (at the time, it was about 85 degrees here).
The seemingly endless adoption journey can certainly bring you down and has brought me down many days. Somehow when I heard several weeks ago we may be facing another 6 months, I accepted it (after a few days) and have put it aside. Kind of.
There are so many false deadlines and seemingly important moments that I feel battle weary and numb. Here we sit once again waiting for a call about something that has likely already been determined. Holt VN staff met yesterday with the province officials to talk about the remaining kids who have been matched (including ours) and to talk about why there is such a delay and how much longer it will take. We are hoping it so long to schedule this meeting because the province was so busy getting ready to approve these children's dossiers and give us the final local approval we need to bring Hunter home.
At church Sunday I asked out rector to say a special prayer. His reply was, "Yes - let's pray that God's will be done. In His time." I think the message was "you can't rush it. It will happen when it's time and only God knows." So what choice do we have? We can spend so much time and energy fearing that they will tell us tomorrow that it will be 9 or 12 months, not the 6 we have not set our hearts on. Or, today we can chose to say why can't he come home by April? Why not believe, at least until tomorrow, that the local officials have been very busy finalizing our son's approval for adoption?
If it weren't for the question, "why not?" I might not have just celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary with the love of my life. In the 70s, my Dad wrote an award winning speach for Toastmasters (a public speaking club) entitled "Why Not" about how much richer life can be when you open yourself to the possibilities by asking "why not" rather than shutting yourself of from opportunity by asking "why?"
I had been divorced and a single mom for over three years when friends convinced me to try an on-line dating service. It asked 100 questions and then "matched" you with those whose answers were similar. At the top of my match list was a handsome brown haired, blue-eyed man with a magnetic smile. His chosen screen name? "WHY NOT." Of course, I had to write him. He wrote back. We met at a Borders on April Fool's day and decided to go for a walk on the beach. Yes, I informed him, my girlfriends knew where I was going and would hunt him down if I was not back in 6 hours. Jim was so nervous. I was his first post divorce date. I told him we would just spend a few hours together and not to think of it as a date. We picked up shells on the beach and I told him it was the first day of the rest of his life. A new beginning for him (never thinking I would be part of that life!). The very long walk turned in to dinner and a mutual decision to do it again soon.
Last weekend, my incredible husband planned a special anniversary. My mom lovingly agreed to watch the kids Saturday night and we saw a very funny movie (Zack and Miri) by two brothers who make some odd films (we saw one of them on our second or third date and I really questioned Jim's sense of humor!). He told me that the 6th anniversary is candy, fruit, iron and wood. Sunday morning I woke to find a box of candy in the mailbox (where someone hinted it would be!). Then my sweetheart took me to the beach for a long walk and then to my favorite breakfast restaurant for the world's best blueberry pancakes (the fruit!). Can you guess what he lined up next? We went and played a par 3 golf course (the iron and wood!). Just perfect. I thank God every day for bringing Jim into my life. He is the most incredible husband and father. He is everything a man should be and my best friend. He makes me a better me.
So, while we endure this wait, why not choose to be happy? Why not choose to believe that this adoption is meant to be and we will have our son home in 2009. Asking "why not" has worked out pretty good for me so far! :)
My mother-in-law called over the weekend and when I answered the phone, told me I was very chipper. I said "what's not to be chipper about?" She then told me it was in the thirties and going to snow in Chicago where she lives. I agree - I would not be very chipper (at the time, it was about 85 degrees here).
The seemingly endless adoption journey can certainly bring you down and has brought me down many days. Somehow when I heard several weeks ago we may be facing another 6 months, I accepted it (after a few days) and have put it aside. Kind of.
There are so many false deadlines and seemingly important moments that I feel battle weary and numb. Here we sit once again waiting for a call about something that has likely already been determined. Holt VN staff met yesterday with the province officials to talk about the remaining kids who have been matched (including ours) and to talk about why there is such a delay and how much longer it will take. We are hoping it so long to schedule this meeting because the province was so busy getting ready to approve these children's dossiers and give us the final local approval we need to bring Hunter home.
At church Sunday I asked out rector to say a special prayer. His reply was, "Yes - let's pray that God's will be done. In His time." I think the message was "you can't rush it. It will happen when it's time and only God knows." So what choice do we have? We can spend so much time and energy fearing that they will tell us tomorrow that it will be 9 or 12 months, not the 6 we have not set our hearts on. Or, today we can chose to say why can't he come home by April? Why not believe, at least until tomorrow, that the local officials have been very busy finalizing our son's approval for adoption?
If it weren't for the question, "why not?" I might not have just celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary with the love of my life. In the 70s, my Dad wrote an award winning speach for Toastmasters (a public speaking club) entitled "Why Not" about how much richer life can be when you open yourself to the possibilities by asking "why not" rather than shutting yourself of from opportunity by asking "why?"
I had been divorced and a single mom for over three years when friends convinced me to try an on-line dating service. It asked 100 questions and then "matched" you with those whose answers were similar. At the top of my match list was a handsome brown haired, blue-eyed man with a magnetic smile. His chosen screen name? "WHY NOT." Of course, I had to write him. He wrote back. We met at a Borders on April Fool's day and decided to go for a walk on the beach. Yes, I informed him, my girlfriends knew where I was going and would hunt him down if I was not back in 6 hours. Jim was so nervous. I was his first post divorce date. I told him we would just spend a few hours together and not to think of it as a date. We picked up shells on the beach and I told him it was the first day of the rest of his life. A new beginning for him (never thinking I would be part of that life!). The very long walk turned in to dinner and a mutual decision to do it again soon.
Last weekend, my incredible husband planned a special anniversary. My mom lovingly agreed to watch the kids Saturday night and we saw a very funny movie (Zack and Miri) by two brothers who make some odd films (we saw one of them on our second or third date and I really questioned Jim's sense of humor!). He told me that the 6th anniversary is candy, fruit, iron and wood. Sunday morning I woke to find a box of candy in the mailbox (where someone hinted it would be!). Then my sweetheart took me to the beach for a long walk and then to my favorite breakfast restaurant for the world's best blueberry pancakes (the fruit!). Can you guess what he lined up next? We went and played a par 3 golf course (the iron and wood!). Just perfect. I thank God every day for bringing Jim into my life. He is the most incredible husband and father. He is everything a man should be and my best friend. He makes me a better me.
So, while we endure this wait, why not choose to be happy? Why not choose to believe that this adoption is meant to be and we will have our son home in 2009. Asking "why not" has worked out pretty good for me so far! :)
posted by Our Family at
7:59 PM
6 Comments:
AMEN!
Love,
Wendi
I agree...why not?
I so admire your wonderful attitude!! I will try to emulate the "why not" point of view! Congrats on the 6 year anniversary! Your DH certainly sounds like a winner!!
I love it! Happy Anniversary! Jim sounds wonderful, glad you enjoyed the day.
Love,
Carol
I hope your meeting went well. I feel so for all of you in the Vietnam program. These children who have already been matched NEED TO COME HOME, but that is just my two cents. I do think the Enemy has taken notice of the many children being adopted by Christian families, thus all of the "slowdowns", "no relations", etc. Praying for God to move YOUR mountain. We both know He can. Believe HE WILL Mary!
I admire your courage and faith during this process that at times makes no sense. What a great attitude!
Happy Anniversary as well!!!
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