Optimism is Over-rated
Or...one step forward, two steps back - the story of this adoption. Today we got truly wonderful news. The U.S. Embassy in Hanoi notified us that Hung has preliminary visa clearance! He is an "orphan" pursuant to US and international law and we have US approval to go to Vietnam to complete the adoption. For those counting, it took 28 working days for USCIS to approve our application from receipt until determination. This is a huge relief because for many families, this can be sticking point or preclude an adoption in its entirety.
No - we are not booking plane tickets. Here is the two steps back. This week, our agency met with officials in Hung's province to discuss the status of the review of his dossier which they have now been reviewing for 13 months. Unfortunately, they still have concerns about whether his file needs "minutes of abandonment." These are mandated by a 2007 law, which by federal decree is not retroactive. Hung came into care in 2003 so his file does not have these minutes. Because his file looks different from the typical toddler or infant file, the province has some reservations. It is unknown whether they will permit him to be adopted. This, after 17 months of us believing this is our son and there was no legal impediment to his adoption. Very scary.
The good news is that many people within our agency and with the Holt VN staff are doing everything they can to advocate for this adoption. Dong Nai has promised we will know something certain in December. I still believe if anyone can make it happen, Holt can. I also must believe that all people are basically good and they want to do the right thing. There is a reason we were matched with this child.
Speaking to the new program coordinators yesterday, we were told that if at any time, we needed to back out due to the stress this process is causing, just say the word and no one would blame us. They must not be adoptive parents. This is our son. How can we leave him there if there is any possible chance we can bring him home? Yes, the wait has been totally draining and at times, all consuming. We are embarrassed and filled with self-loathing some days for what we feel is a failure of faith in God's plan. Some days, it is so hard to believe. But, we will not voluntarily turn away from this child until every possible resource is exhausted.
What keeps us going in large part is the support of our friends and family and those families who have or are hopefully about to adopt from Dong Nai. Other adoptive families who have faced similar or much worse challenges have also been inspiring. See the blog "Room for At Least One More" I have linked here. This incredible family and their beautiful new daughter from China are a testament to God's love and the power of faith and prayer. When I am at my very lowest some days, I turn to Leslie's blog to see how the beautiful Susannah is recovering from her open heart surgery that took place one week after she landed in the U.S. I saw this on her blog this week and it gives me hope:
Take heart, my friends who are still waiting for your referral or to travel, HE IS THERE WITH YOUR CHILD. I know you know it, but BELIEVE IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY. He is there, even through the hands and feet and hearts of His people here on earth.
You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you LISTEN TO THEIR CRY, defending the FATHERLESS and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more. Ps. 10:17-18
Friends, here is the specific prayer we ask for over the next few weeks. Please feel free to pass it along:
Father, please let the Dong Nai government and People's Committee complete the review of Hung's file and make all necessary approvals in the next 6 weeks. Please watch over Hung and let him feel the love of his forever family and not question why they have not yet come for him. Help the Duda family have patience and faith in Your plan and continue to endure the wait with grace. Please help the remaining 536 other U.S. families who have been matched with children in Vietnam and who are waiting to bring their sons and daughters home. Amen.
No - we are not booking plane tickets. Here is the two steps back. This week, our agency met with officials in Hung's province to discuss the status of the review of his dossier which they have now been reviewing for 13 months. Unfortunately, they still have concerns about whether his file needs "minutes of abandonment." These are mandated by a 2007 law, which by federal decree is not retroactive. Hung came into care in 2003 so his file does not have these minutes. Because his file looks different from the typical toddler or infant file, the province has some reservations. It is unknown whether they will permit him to be adopted. This, after 17 months of us believing this is our son and there was no legal impediment to his adoption. Very scary.
The good news is that many people within our agency and with the Holt VN staff are doing everything they can to advocate for this adoption. Dong Nai has promised we will know something certain in December. I still believe if anyone can make it happen, Holt can. I also must believe that all people are basically good and they want to do the right thing. There is a reason we were matched with this child.
Speaking to the new program coordinators yesterday, we were told that if at any time, we needed to back out due to the stress this process is causing, just say the word and no one would blame us. They must not be adoptive parents. This is our son. How can we leave him there if there is any possible chance we can bring him home? Yes, the wait has been totally draining and at times, all consuming. We are embarrassed and filled with self-loathing some days for what we feel is a failure of faith in God's plan. Some days, it is so hard to believe. But, we will not voluntarily turn away from this child until every possible resource is exhausted.
What keeps us going in large part is the support of our friends and family and those families who have or are hopefully about to adopt from Dong Nai. Other adoptive families who have faced similar or much worse challenges have also been inspiring. See the blog "Room for At Least One More" I have linked here. This incredible family and their beautiful new daughter from China are a testament to God's love and the power of faith and prayer. When I am at my very lowest some days, I turn to Leslie's blog to see how the beautiful Susannah is recovering from her open heart surgery that took place one week after she landed in the U.S. I saw this on her blog this week and it gives me hope:
Take heart, my friends who are still waiting for your referral or to travel, HE IS THERE WITH YOUR CHILD. I know you know it, but BELIEVE IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY. He is there, even through the hands and feet and hearts of His people here on earth.
You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you LISTEN TO THEIR CRY, defending the FATHERLESS and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more. Ps. 10:17-18
Friends, here is the specific prayer we ask for over the next few weeks. Please feel free to pass it along:
Father, please let the Dong Nai government and People's Committee complete the review of Hung's file and make all necessary approvals in the next 6 weeks. Please watch over Hung and let him feel the love of his forever family and not question why they have not yet come for him. Help the Duda family have patience and faith in Your plan and continue to endure the wait with grace. Please help the remaining 536 other U.S. families who have been matched with children in Vietnam and who are waiting to bring their sons and daughters home. Amen.
posted by Our Family at
3:18 PM
5 Comments:
God be with you all.....Our prayers are with you and we have appreciated yours for us. This will work out for you all.........
When we got our I600 approval it was completely anti-climactic...it just didn't mean anything to us at that point. (We received it in month 11 of our 16 month wait.) I am continuing to pray for all these children stuck in that dang province. I am also praying for all you families who must endure this wait. Hang in there!
Continuing to lift you in prayer.
Hunter MUST come HOME! Hunter WILL come home! We are going to pray him home! We are going to pray "without ceasing" because we know that God is bigger than any piece of paperwork!
You know my heart is with you and with precious Hunter. And you are so right--our kids become ours when they are matched :-) Hunter is your son. And it is time for him to come HOME!
hi, i just found your blog through another blog i follow.
i just wanted to post how i'm thinking of you and hope you hear word soon that your son can come home.
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