Happy Memorial Day!

Hope you shared your day with family and friends and took time to remember those who have served and those who continue to serve. To our friends in uniform - you make us proud!

Thoughts on Waiting

This Saturday we went to our local "waiting families" lunch for our local Families with Children from China Group. We introduced Hung and we are officially a waiting family no longer! We started going to these monthly lunches in April 2005 when we began the wait for Lily. For 3 out of the last 4 years - we have officially been a "waiting family" with either documents in China or Vietnam. We will continue to go periodically to share that the waits do end and incredible, healthy, happy, funny children do come home.

I am not sure that anyone other than adopting families understand the pain, the ups and downs of the adoption wait. Our journey actually began more than 5 years ago when we explored domestic adoption. After "waiting" for almost 2 years to be chosen by a birth mom, we felt the call that our child waited in China. Four years ago Wednesday (May 20, 2005) we were "DTC" - dossier to China. We were 13 months from our dossier landing in China until travel. What a blessing our Lily has been.

Exactly a year later, we were matched with Hung and the extraordinary wait for 22 months began. Many joyous days, many tear fear filled and angry and hopeless days. And now he is here.

Marshall no longer waits for a brother to play ninja with. Lily no longer waits for a sibling her age to whisper and giggle with at night. We no longer wait and wonder about 'beautiful eyes" - the child with such soulful eyes waiting for us on the other side of the world. Hung no longer longingly looks at his photo albums and waits for his forever family.

This week Hung continues to use new words - yogurt, soda, wait, bicycle, kiss, Aunt Gail, red. He isn't sure he wants an American name or to be called "Hunter." He feels the need to constantly needle Lily about anything and everything. He has 1 more grape on his plate, he has two books in his hand when she has one, etc...Now we know why he got into a lot of fights at school. :) He can also be very sweet. He found a box of unused Christmas cards at Jim's office and colored in 8 of them so that he could dole them out, including Grandma, Ma Maw and his new favorite, Aunt Gail.

It pains me to know that there are still 5-6 other families waiting to bring their children home from the same province. There are families who sent their documents to China less than a year after we did who are still waiting 3 years later to be matched. Families continue to wait for children to come home from Guatemala, Russia and Ethiopia. Orphans world wide continue to wait for forever families.

There are many worse things to have to wait for - news about whether a cancer has spread, when a love one may be returning from deployment, whether citizenship will be granted so that an immigrant can join their family. But our hearts hold a special place for waiting families. We are so glad we are waiting no longer and will continue to pray for those who are.

Wendi and Brian - such amazing news that your travel is planned today!! At last. Wendi, there is no way I could have endured the wait without your love and support. I can't fathom the reason we didn't get to see Halong Bay together but we will explore Glacier next summer together with An and Hung instead! Eva and Annette - you are next and it will happen! Now we wait for the DN reunion! Perhpas Labor Day or Columbus day?

Dance of the Anoles

A few days ago when the kids were taking a rare nap, I sat on the back patio and watched 2 anoles (small lizards) dance around each other for about 10 minutes. I don't know if they were preparing to fight or get amorous. There was lots of bravado - funny little push ups, bulging red necks, charging each other and backing off then running together and jumping over each other.

This is not unlike what is going on with Hung and Lily. They are so close in age that the addition of Hung to our household has been the best and the worst for Lily. Hung was never taught to share or take turns. He also does not like a girl having something he doesn't have or doing something better than him. He must have lived in a very male dominated household.

Maybe you have seen my favorite bumper sticker, "Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History." Kind of Lily's motto. Actually she is very well behaved but she stands up for herself. She is smaller than all the kids in her class by several inches but she is mighty in personality. She isn't taking anything from anyone, including Hung who has an equally strong personality. It has been interesting to watch their interactions. She will share, he refuses to give it back, she yells, he mimics her and laughs, she gets angrier and shouts, he shouts....this goes on and on with periodic intervention from Mom. They have not come to blows nor do I think they will. At night, when its bed time, they are thick as thieves, laughing and giggling, wanting to go to sleep in the same room if not the same bed. They do all the stalling tactics together - we need a drink, we need a hug, we need to eat, we need a book, etc... They were really cut from the same cloth. God knew what he was doing planning for them to be siblings.

The last few days we have just been spending time together. Hung went to the pediatrician and took 5 shots without so much as a whimper. He figured out the audio test very quickly. The doctor pronounced him very well with the exception of his teeth. Off to the dentist on Monday. Hung is getting used to the beach. Loves to dig, not so keen about the waves and is afraid of shells. Today we went to a local attraction - Sunken Gardens where the kids and I walked through beautiful lush gardens and they had a ball feeding the koi in several ponds. We also played with the Spotts kids are who are very close in age. We did the smart thing and met at the park so there wouldn't be a toy fight. Hung was all smiles with his new friend Jacob and Lily is always happy to be with Maddy. Hung lives for big brother to get off the bus in the afternoon. He loves to swim or play ball with Marshall. Marshall has been really patient and has made and effort to make sure Lily is included.

We continue to marvel at God's grace and how very fortunate we are to have Hung home.

Home One Week

We have been home a week and overall things are normalizing. We had the honeymoon phase with Hung through Monday. His grieving began in earnest on Tuesday. He reached his limit of frustration with Mommy on Wednesday when he did not want to go for a nap at 4 pm and Mommy didn't seem to understand that he needed to stay up and play. We saw a full blown kicking, screaming, wailing, crying but dry eyed fit. Quite a show. He doesn't know that he is preceded in tantrum throwing by Lily so this amazing display of anger and emotion didn't have much effect.

I periodically went in to tell him in Vietnamese that I love him, that I am so sorry he is so sad and that he will be with us forever. That did not sooth him and he pointed at himself and every airplane flying overhead to tell me - I want to go back!! Lily too has suggested more than once this week that "He needs to go back!" But we haven't heard it in 24 hours. Hung talked to Thoa at Holt in VN on Thursday and she told us we have a boy with a "strong personality." Really? LOL.

Marshall had enough by Thursday night when he thought Hung stole a pack of gum from his room (he didn't). So, lots of tears and yelling by the kids here this week. It was expected. I have learned the secret to keeping peace. Get everyone out of the house. If there are no "things" around, there is no fighting over what is yours or mine.

We trekked to our local Fort, went to the beach, surprised Grannie B in Sarasota (she had just returned from visiting friends and relatives in New Jersey). Hung loves to go anywhere and has only gotten car sick once. He has done remarkably well in the grocery store and Target. It has helped a lot to have Jim's Mom here to help primarily with Lily. Hung also went canoeing with Daddy and loves riding his bike or the double bike with Jim in the front. We now understand "I'm sorry" in Vietnamese and Hung is clearly saying all of our names and "water," "lotion," "swim," "beach," "eat," "go," "please," "thank you" and "how are you?" More than anything, Hung loves to talk on the phone - to anyone!

Today we went blueberry picking with our friends John, Pam and their daughter LiLi who is also from China. I wondered what Hung must have thought. We were out in the country, far from any traffic. The only noise was the rustling of blueberry bushes by grasshoppers and the occasional bird. No motor bikes, no honking horns, no smoky smell in the air. A very different world than what he is used to. He understood right away he was supposed to pick the blue ones, not the green ones. He did great on the long car trip and was wonderful with Grannie B and Aunt Kristy and Uncle Joey later tonight at our cookout at home. He just finished doing a craft for over an hour side by side with Lily and no fighting. We heard lots of deep belly laughs out of him today and he did some more ball playing with Marshall. We know there will be lots of ups and downs but this week really ended up. Thank you friends for the outpouring of good wishes and food! I caught a terrible cough (no, not swine flu! No fever.) and lost my voice this week and it helped not to have to worry about cooking at all.

Waiting Dong Nai families, in the midst of our joy, we remember your pain and are praying for you to be united with your beautiful children soon.