A Blessed Day

On Sunday, Hunter was officially welcomed into our church community with his baptism at the family friendly "Harmony" service. I love that our church offers this option. Sometimes the Episcopal church can be a bit stuffy. That's one of the reasons I think I like it - all the traditions are so familiar from my Catholic upbringing. I don't mind that we Episcopalians feel compelled to sing every verse of every hymn or all the standing and kneeling. The ceremony, the order is all the same as the church I grew up in. But its intimidating to bring squirmy kids into mass in the main church. Most Sundays we go to the service in the auditorium. Kids are encouraged to take a prepared bag with crayons and activity pages. It is not uncommon for the attendees to have Barbies, matchbox cars or pretzels in tow. If Lily feels moved to get up and dance in front of the band, she can (and does!). So when Father John offered us the chance to have Hung baptized in this much less formal setting, we jumped at the chance.

And what a blessed day it was. Although Grandma Duda was unable to travel and Godmother Samantha's and cousin Steven's flight was cancelled from Chicago, Aunt Debbie "came off the bench" to stand in as proxy and my bother David is the Godfather. Of course there were the requisite Marlon Brando impersonations all weekend. Friends and family joined us at home for a Vietnamese feast (thank you Lynne at Ben Thahn!) after the service and Hunter had his first official party just for him! He was so excited to see the cake with his picture on. Publix did a fabulous job as always with the cakes. Jim and Vicki brought Hunter a motorized motorcycle which really made him happy. Everyone enjoyed seeing the cousins together.

For me, the best part was watching Hunter at the table with Father John as he prepared the Eucharist. The kids are always invited up but this Sunday, Hunter and Lily practically ran to the table. Hunter cracked everyone up as he seriously copied all of Father John's movements in preparing the bread and wine. How many Sundays over the last 2 years did I sit in church and dream of this day? How could I have guessed that this amazing child would be up front and center shouting out the Lord's prayer in the best English he can muster with a huge smile on his face? Father John shared with the congregation a little of the process we endured and there were many congratulations. It really is nice to be part of this community. God truly has counted every hair on this child's head and watched over him every day until he was with us.

Leaving church I said a special prayer for the 2 Dong Nai families still waiting - may they too soon have their babies in their arms.

3 Months

Three months ago we met Hung at the orphanage and completed his adoption in the span of about an hour and a half. In many ways it seems like he has been with us much longer and yet it also seems like it happened yesterday. These months have not been without their challenges. The green-eyed jealousy monster still lingers with Lily but not as bad. Hunter will still push or scratch in frustration or anger but he also knows immediately he did wrong and will apologize or burst into tears. Hunter came to us on day one with smiles, laughter and being willing to cuddle and be held. That hasn't changed. He is not a happy camper when he wakes up in the morning but he always wants to crawl in bed and lay his head on my chest. It is where he wants to be before he goes to sleep at night too. He comes and loudly vocalizes to mom every frustration, aggravation, perceived unfairness or need. It is totally draining but it is also a good sign (I am choosing to believe) that he trusts me to meet his needs.

Hunter loved the 4th of July and we saw fireworks at a local AAA baseball game on the 3rd and then watched them over the water on the 4th with friends Jim and Vicki. He was not scared and later told us that he saw fireworks in Vietnam. We figured out it was for Tet - the Vietnamese New Year celebration. This discussion opened the flood gate last week for Hunter to talk to us about his life in Vietnam. His foster family did not have a car but they all got on the motorbike together. He used to pluck chickens and cut noddles with scissors to make soup. They cooked over a fire on the floor and ate at low tables. They slept 3 to a bed with no mattress. He was taken to "puppy fights" where the dogs bled and it was scary. No telling what we will learn about his former life as his vocabulary expands. At the baseball game, he had a big time using Vicki's new digital camera - primarily to photograph the pretty Hooters girls who were serving wings in the section in front of us! The tiniest gigolo still at work! This last week Hunter met all of his Chicago cousins (except Steven who will be here next week for Hunter's baptism).

We have lost track of how many English words he knows. We are guessing about 300. He is talking in 5-6 word sentences. Not a lot of verbs but plenty of nouns. It is easiest for him to tell a story by listing things chronologically. He often repeats his day with a combination of charades and one or two key words. "Mom - wake up, clothes, brush teeth (signing), eat, drive, school then movies?" he asks expectantly. The boy loves the movies. We took him to the new Ice Age movie and he laughed like he understood every word. He periodically wants to look at the pictures we have of him in Vietnam and from our trip but he never seems sad. He wants to tell us about his life there. Over and over all day we hear him say in his deep little voice "Look, Lily!!" She is his very best friend and confidant. He craves her attention and approval. A few months before the adoption we were told he has "no sense of humor." Easily 75 percent of his day is trying to make us, particularly Lily, laugh.

The feelings I have for Hunter are not the same immediate, all encompassing infatuation and adoration I had for Lily from the first second I held her. They are for Jim but I've seen much more of Hunter's bravado, boasting, belittling and other not so nice personality traits. Although I know he loves me, Hung completely adores Jim. Does he sense my reserve? Does he hold back with me for fear of somehow betraying the foster mom I know he loved very much? One thing that has grown exponentially for me is how much I admire this little boy. He is so smart, funny and resilient. It stuns me how 99% of every day he is smiling, happy and goofing around. Because he talks in his sleep we know he is already dreaming in English. He is doing far better than we had any right to hope that he would. And, love grows - day by day, little by little and sometimes leaps and bounds.

Happy 4th of July!

Lily and Aunt Margie

The Duda gangJim and Hunter with Hunter's first sparklers

Vacation Time

Lily and Hunter's excellent mountain adventure

Joseph and Hunter - are they not the most handsome young men?

Hunter, Joseph, Ericka and Lily - thank you Holt for bringing these amazing children home and our families together!

Jason, JW, Lil and Hunter

Hunter, Lily, and friends Ellie and Jillian

Chillin' by the grist mill

Hamming it up

Just take the picture, Mom!

The girls on vacation

Blue Bear!! (yes - he is black!)

Lily chose to ride the pink knagaroo while the boys did the go carts.

Hunter's first "driving experience." He was very agitated after the first lap when he realized only Jim's side of the car would actually steer.

The kids and I just got back from a great week in E. Tennessee. Jim drove up with us and flew home to work and then came back at the end of the week to drive home. On the way up we got to see friends in Murfreesboro and Nashville and they got to meet Hunter! Brenda, Sissie and Susan - thank you for meeting us! It was so good to see you guys. When we arrived in Sevierville, we went straight to Dollywood to meet up withe Cox family who adopted their beautiful daughter with us in Guangdong China and who adopted their handsome son, Joseph from Danang, Vietnam. They were a major encouragement during the long wait for Hunter and Joseph and Hunter took to each other in just a few minutes. The park was really beautiful and we had a great day. The next day, my sister-in-law Deb and her two boys arrived from Asheville and we spent 4 days going to the water park, driving around Gatlinburg, seeing Ripley's aquarium and just generally taking it easy and laughing a lot. Hunter really loved spending time with his cousins and it helped his language and sharing immensely. We were worried about whether Hunter would be upset by the travel but he loved it. One of the highlights was when we went to the Great Smokie Mountain National Park with Jim before driving home. There were black bears just a few feet from our car. We had been talking about blueberries earlier in the day and when Hunter saw the bears, he started shouting "Blue Bears!! Blue Bears!!" Hung and really did well on the long ride and they are playing much better together (most of the time). It was great for us to be together and give him and Lily some extra attention. Marshall has been in Virginia with his dad's family and we miss him very much.